A Course in Forgiveness by Gerald Crawford

We offer you a two day forgiveness course in Cape Town, Johannesburg, New York, London, Hong Kong, Singapore, Sydney, Melbourne, Los Angeles, Chicago, Ontario, ‎Dublin and Auckland. Develop gratitude with grace, change your life with a universal truth. Letting go of resentment.

Category: Happiness (Page 1 of 2)

Identifying Your Core Values

Nov 11, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Your Personal values are the general expression of what is most important for you. A value expresses the worth of something, and in this case what you categorical like and dislike.

So they are like categories for all your preferences in life. Values are formed starting in early childhood and are later consciously re-evaluated and can therefore be changed.

By comparing two values you can discover which is representing something that is more important than the other. Therefore you rate the one value over the other.

Personal values are generally operating in the background. They influence everything what you do but usually it happens on auto-pilot. You just know intuitively what you like and dislike and decide accordingly.

Why is it Good to Know Your Personal Values?

The answer is twofold:

First you get clarity and build your self-awareness by identifying your values and secondly knowing your highest values can act like a guide for you. It makes intelligent decisions easier. Also knowing your negative values, those from which you try to keep away from, is very helpful as well. When you are clearly aware of your value hierarchy you can consciously check situations against your value-system, which will create better decisions and results. It will be easier to keep your balance in life.

For instance when you are about to make an important decision you can double-check if going the one or the other way would go against one of your core values. On the long run, that would pose a problem for you.

So all in all it’s an awareness building process which can give you direction in life.

When choosing your personal core values it is important to think about the criteria that you will use to make your selection. Since your personal values decision will have multiple answers, your criteria will also help you to prioritize and limit your list. Using our decision making model, you will want to look at other connected decisions for goals/source requirements that will influence your criteria. If you have already made decisions for a personal vision, mission statement, and/or core beliefs, you should see goals/source requirements that will influence the criteria for this decision.

With your connected decisions in mind, here are some criteria that might help in selecting your personal core values.

  • Consistent with my personal vision, mission, and core beliefs – In addition to specific goals/source requirements, you can use this criteria as a way to eliminate personal values that are inconsistent with your other decisions.
  • Inspirational – Personal values should encourage you to fulfill your purpose in life. Great personal values, read every day, will provide an uplift and motivation to take on the day’s challenges.
  • Unique – Your values need to speak to you. Don’t hesitate to use values learned from others, but your core values should help define who you are and want to be. They should reflect the priorities for your life and will tend to emphasize your strengths while compensating for your weaknesses.
  • Provides guidance – Personal core values should help you in your everyday decisions, particularly with relationships.
  • Long lasting – This is about creating your future. Expect that your values will evolve as you grow, mature and gain life experience. However, this is not about following the latest fad. If you expect a personal core value to change next week, it likely isn’t very core.
  • Meaningful and rewarding – Values provide the measures that help us live meaningful lives that fulfill our given purpose. Living a life of meaning brings us joy.

A List of Core Values

There are a lot of value lists out there, so here are just the real core values that most people have and that differentiate a character the most. I tried to keep the list tight and avoid repetition by synonyms:

Abundance Accountability Achievement Action
Adventure Ambition Awareness Balance
Beauty Being the Best Calmness Cheerfulness
Clarity Comfort Compassion Competition
Connection Contribution Control Courage
Creativity Curiosity Determination Discipline
Effectiveness Empathy Energy Enthusiasm
Excellence Fairness Faith Fame
Family Flexibility Freedom Friendship
Fulfillment Fun Harmony Happiness
Health Honesty Honor Humility
Independence Integrity Intelligence Intimacy
Inspiration Kindness Knowledge Liveliness
Love Money Nature Passion
Peace Perfection Persistence Philanthropy
Power Respect Security Simplicity
Significance Spirituality Spontaneity Strength
Stability Success Status Teamwork
Tolerance Tradition Truth Vitality
Wealth Wisdom

Create Your Value Hierarchy

In order to create your 10 top-values do the following:

  1. Select the 10 values from the list above that you like most. (of course you can also do a Top 5 or Top 3)
  2. Start with the first in the list. Then order this by importance by comparing two values by asking: “Which one is more important to me if I had could only have one and had to compromise the second?” Remove the winner and write it on top of a new list and then continue with the remaining 6 on the old list and so on.
  3. Do this for all 10 until you have an ordered list of your top 10 values.

Here are my top 10 personal values:

  1. Truth
  2. Integrity
  3. Contribution
  4. Love
  5. Inspiration
  6. Family
  7. Fulfillment
  8. Health
  9. Creativity
  10. Success

Your value hierarchy expresses your character of course. Someone who values adventure highly is a different character as someone who values stability more. Someone who values success highly is different than someone who values family on top.

An interesting exercise is also to create your top 10 negative values, which express what you really dislike or what is totally unimportant to you.

Are Values Fixed or Can I Change Them?

By there very nature, your value-system tend to be more stable, it is your character in it’s many facettes. But single values are not static and fixed. They can change. Personal values usually change when something big happens, or when you are consciously re-evaluating your life and make a decision, based on your experiences, to change your value hierarchy.

As an example I valued diversity a lot in my first business. Later I learned by experience all the drawbacks of doing a lot at a time and now I value simplicity more.

So what when you are dissatisfied with a value you have and what to change it?

For instance you may have the top value of stability and you want to become a bit more flexible in your life. (could be the other way around as well) Changing this would work if you create experiences and enjoy them that are in alignment with the new value: flexibility in this example.

So to integrate a new value into your top-values:

  1. Create positive experiences that express this value in your life
  2. Decrease experiences that are aligned with the opposite value in your life
  3. Also working on your beliefs will make it easier to adapt to new values.

Please break your list down to TOP 5 and then to TOP 3 personal values.

What are your TOP 3 personal values?

This is my TOP 3 personal values:

  1. Integrity
  2. Truth
  3. Love

No person likes making mistakes. Having well defined personal core values helps us avoid making choices that work against who we want to be. Our values become a clear set of guidelines for our words and actions, consistently moving us in the direction aligned with our core beliefs and personal vision. Our life becomes one of our choosing, not one that is directed by the decisions of others. Our values help us build and maintain our identity as unique individuals.

Choosing and knowing your values can provide a number of benefits that include:

  • Reducing stress
  • Making better decisions
  • Finding environments and people that support your aspirations
  • Increasing joy and happiness
  • Supporting your growth and development
  • Helping in times of conflict or confusion
  • Growing contribution and value
  • Providing motivation

Knowing it or not, choosing it or not, all of us have a set of personal core values. Prevent discontent, conflict, frustration and lack of fulfillment by choosing consciously the values by which you want to live.

Now do the limpness test: Ask yourself the four following questions?

  1. Would you sacrifice any of theses vales for a million rand?
  2. Have you lost any of theses core values in times of stress?
  3. In 20 years would theses values still hold true?
  4. Are you prepare to disregard one or more of theses values if they put you at a disadvantage?

Aligning with your core values all the time makes you powerful.

Ref:. www.myrkothum.com/personal-values/

and www.decision-making-solutions.com/personal_core_values.html

The Empowering Truth About Forgiveness

Feb 21, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Walking around with a chip on my shoulder only hurts me. Of course, I wish my father had appreciated my accomplishments, but instead of being mad about it, I’ve chosen forgiveness.

If I still had open wounds and unfinished emotional business, that burden would prevent me from being the husband and father I am today. For me, that is the ultimate example of the power of forgiveness.

When you believe you’ve been cheated, offended, betrayed or otherwise treated unfairly, you might understandably feel like a victim. Perhaps you’re the kind of person who gets so upset that you just want to sit in the corner and eat some worms. Or your blood might start boiling as you contemplate how you’re going to get even. With rage in your heart and clenched fists, you may feel invincible. The truth is that you have never been weaker.

Why? You’re letting somebody else dictate your emotions and control you. When you’re locked up in an emotional prison, you give away your power.

Let’s say, for instance, that a friend gossiped about you, or someone at work took credit for your ideas. You’re really pissed off, and the anger and resentment have started to eat away at you. You may be 100 percent justified, but you’re the one left paying the price because you’ve let another person make you miserable. In fact, the negativity stretches beyond your own well-being. Think about what happens when there’s a skunk in your backyard: The odor permeates your whole house. Bitterness spreads like that. It can contaminate not only your emotions but also your relationships; the stench in your heart can affect the way you treat your kids or your spouse because it literally changes who you are.

I’m not saying you have to give the other person a pass. As I’ve often said, it’s good to forgive and bad to forget. I may forgive someone, but I sure don’t forget what he did because I don’t want to be stupid enough to let it happen again. What I am saying is that forgiveness allows you to unlock the bonds of hostility and set yourself free.

Now, if you’re thinking you’ll just wait until a wave of generosity and grace washes over your soul, you’ll be waiting a long time. Forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s a choice you consciously make. You have to decide to tell yourself, She is not worthy of one more ounce of my energy or thoughts. I am withdrawing my investment in bitterness and hatred so I can invest more fully in the people I love and care about. She may have had a hold on me, but now I am choosing to shake her loose. I am taking back the ability to decide who I am, what I think, how I feel and whom I focus on. That’s where my power comes from. I will not let anyone else turn my heart cold or change who I am.

The other person doesn’t need to know about your decision. I’ve forgiven people who may not have even known they’d transgressed against me. Had I said, “Hey, I just want you to know that I forgive you,” they probably wouldn’t have had a clue what I was talking about. There’s no need to go through any drama because this isn’t about the other person. It’s all about you casting off the unhappiness and grudges that are weighing you down.

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself because you deserve to rise above pain and hurt.

Forgiveness is the key to happiness

Feb 14, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Forgiveness is a key

1. Here is the answer to your search for peace. Here is the key to meaning in a world that seems to make no sense. Here is the way to safety in apparent dangers that appear to threaten you at every turn, and bring uncertainty to all your hopes of ever finding quietness and peace. Here are all questions answered; here the end of all uncertainty ensured at last.

2. The unforgiving mind is full of fear, and offers love no room to be itself; no place where it can spread its wings in peace and soar above the turmoil of the world. The unforgiving mind is sad, without the hope of respite and release from pain. It suffers and abides in misery, peering about in darkness, seeing not, yet certain of the danger lurking there.

3. The unforgiving mind is torn with doubt, confused about itself and all it sees; afraid and angry, weak and blustering, afraid to go ahead, afraid to stay, afraid to waken or to go to sleep, afraid of every sound, yet more afraid of stillness; terrified of darkness, yet more terrified at the approach of light. What can the unforgiving mind perceive but its damnation? What can it behold except the proof that all its sins are real?

4. The unforgiving mind sees no mistakes, but only sins. It looks upon the world with sightless eyes, and shrieks as it beholds its own projections rising to attack its miserable parody of life. It wants to live, yet wishes it were dead. It wants forgiveness, yet it sees no hope. It wants escape, yet can conceive of none because it sees the sinful everywhere.

5. The unforgiving mind is in despair, without the prospect of a future which can offer anything but more despair. Yet it regards its judgment of the world as irreversible, and does not see it has condemned itself to this despair. It thinks it cannot change, for what it sees bears witness that its judgment is correct. It does not ask, because it thinks it knows. It does not question, certain it is right.

6. Forgiveness is acquired. It is not inherent in the mind, which cannot sin. As sin is an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself, Who represents the other Self in you. Through Him you learn how to forgive the self you think you made, and let it disappear. Thus you return your mind as one to Him Who is your Self, and Who can never sin.

7. Each unforgiving mind presents you with an opportunity to teach your own how to forgive itself. Each one awaits release from hell through you, and turns to you imploringly for Heaven here and now. It has no hope, but you become its hope. And as its hope, do you become your own. The unforgiving mind must learn through your forgiveness that it has been saved from hell. And as you teach salvation, you will learn. Yet all your teaching and your learning will be not of you, but of the Teacher Who was given you to show the way to you.

8. Today we practice learning to forgive. If you are willing, you can learn today to take the key to happiness, and use it on your own behalf. We will devote ten minutes in the morning, and at night another ten, to learning how to give forgiveness and receive forgiveness, too.

9. The unforgiving mind does not believe that giving and receiving are the same. Yet we will try to learn today that they are one through practicing forgiveness toward one whom you think of as an enemy, and one whom you consider as a friend. And as you learn to see them both as one, we will extend the lesson to yourself, and see that their escape included yours.

10. Begin the longer practice periods by thinking of someone you do not like, who seems to irritate you, or to cause regret in you if you should meet him; one you actively despise, or merely try to overlook. It does not matter what the form your anger takes. You probably have chosen him already. He will do.

11. Now close your eyes and see him in your mind, and look at him a while. Try to perceive some light in him somewhere; a little gleam which you had never noticed. Try to find some little spark of brightness shining through the ugly picture that you hold of him. Look at this picture till you see a light somewhere within it, and then try to let this light extend until it covers him, and makes the picture beautiful and good.

12. Look at this changed perception for a while, and turn your mind to one you call a friend. Try to transfer the light you learned to see around your former “enemy” to him. Perceive him now as more than friend to you, for in that light his holiness shows you your savior, saved and saving, healed and whole.

13. Then let him offer you the light you see in him, and let your “enemy” and friend unite in blessing you with what you gave. Now are you one with them, and they with you. Now have you been forgiven by yourself. Do not forget, throughout the day, the role forgiveness plays in bringing happiness to every unforgiving mind, with yours among them. Every hour tell yourself:

Forgiveness is the key to happiness. I will awaken from the dream that I am mortal, fallible and full of sin, and know I am the perfect Son of God.

Link: https://acim.org/workbook/lesson-121/ – A Course in Miracles (ACIM)

We offer you a full day forgiveness course in Cape Town, Durban, Pretoria, Kimberley, Johannesburg and Stellenbosch. Develop gratitude with grace and change your life with a universal truth.

« Older posts
Jul 2025
M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. But working on forgiveness can lessen that act’s grip on you.

A Course in Forgiveness by Gerald Crawford

Forgiveness has three parts – Gratitude, Grace and Growth.

Forgiveness and Health: Scientific Evidence and Theories Relating Forgiveness to Better Health

303 Pages · 2015 · 3.01 MB · English
by Loren Toussaint & Everett Worthington

This volume collects the state-of-the-art research on forgiveness and mental and physical health and well-being. It focuses specifically on connections between forgiveness and its health and well-being benefits.

Forgive for Love: The Missing Ingredient for a Healthy and Lasting Relationship

244 Pages · 2009 · 3.25 MB · English
by Frederic Luskin

Finding the love of your life and holding onto that relationship is more difficult than ever. The problem hasn’t gone unnoticed. From relationship therapists to speed-dating, self-help books to online matchmaking, an entire industry has developed to help us navigate the bumpy road of relationships.

T. D. Jakes

“Forgiveness is about empowering yourself, rather than empowering your past.”

Webmaster

This website is maintained by Webcraft WS (Pty) Ltd.

2025 Course Dates

Please select your Forgiveness Course / Workshop city and dates below:

  • Group A:
  • Cape Town, RZA – Dates: 14, 15 February 2025
  • Johannesburg, RZA – Dates: 14, 15 November 2025
  • Group B:
  • New York, USA – Dates: 8, 9 August 2025
  • Los Angeles, USA – Dates: 22, 23 August 2025
  • Chicago, USA – Dates: 29, 30 August 2025
  • Ontario, Canada – Dates: 12, 13 September 2025
  • Group C:
  • London, UK – Dates: 18, 19 April 2025
  • Dublin, Ireland – Dates: 25, 26 April 2025
  • Group D:
  • Singapore – Dates: 16, 17 May 2025
  • Hong Kong, China – Dates: 23, 24 May 2025
  • Sydney, Australia – Dates: 30, 31 May 2025
  • Melbourne, Australia – Dates: 13, 14 June 2025
  • Auckland, New Zealand – Dates: 20, 21 June 2025

© 2025 A Course in Forgiveness by Gerald Crawford

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑

We offer you a two day forgiveness course in Cape Town, Johannesburg, New York, London, Hong Kong, Singapore, Sydney, Melbourne, Los Angeles, Chicago, Ontario, ‎Dublin and Auckland.