We offer you a two day forgiveness course in Cape Town, Johannesburg, New York, London, Hong Kong, Singapore, Sydney, Melbourne, Los Angeles, Chicago, Ontario, ‎Dublin and Auckland. Develop gratitude with grace, change your life with a universal truth. Letting go of resentment.

Tag: Forgiveness (Page 3 of 6)

The health benefits of forgiveness by Mason Turner, MD

How do you define forgiveness?

Forgiveness is acknowledging that there’s been an offense committed against you and then choosing to let go of resentment you may feel towards the person or persons who hurt you. Forgiveness is not saying it was OK — it’s figuring out how to move on.

This can be simply deciding not to fume about someone cutting you off in traffic, or something more complicated, such as forgiving a spouse who was unfaithful.

What are some of the benefits of forgiving?

First, consider the costs of not forgiving. Not forgiving someone often leads to hostility towards that person, and your anger and bitterness can seep into other parts of your life. Hostility keeps levels of the stress hormone cortisol elevated in your body, which can trigger a whole range of bad outcomes, including high blood pressure, immune system issues and a tendency to gain weight.

Holding on to hostility also has psychological consequences. It can keep you feeling like a victim, prevent you from moving past a trauma, and lead to anxiety and depression.

Conversely, there’s strong research demonstrating that engaging in forgiveness reduces the cortisol circulating in your body, leading to many benefits, including lower blood pressure, cholesterol and heart attack risk, and better sleep. Forgiveness also helps you to regulate your stress response and reduce your overall level of anxiety and depression.

There’s also research showing that forgiveness increases happiness in the relationship where you offered forgiveness and beyond. I think this is because forgiveness often requires soul searching, and that process can help you be more present in other relationships.

How do you see the forgiveness process?

It can be easy to forgive someone quickly for a small offense, but if someone has committed a serious offense against you, the process may take months or even years. It’s not the act of saying words of forgiveness that is beneficial, it’s the intention behind the words.

Before you can forgive, it’s important to have processed or reflected on the offense. What happened, how did it make you feel, and how has the anger or hurt you’ve experienced affected you since?

It can be helpful to try to empathize. If you can put yourself in the shoes of the person who hurt you, you may better understand why they did what they did. This doesn’t excuse the offense or the offender, but it can help you see the person more as a human being who made a mistake.

Acknowledging that you have sometimes hurt other people and have been forgiven can also help you learn to forgive others.

What are some of the challenges of forgiving?

Forgiveness can be tough. You can go through the steps, but actually feeling real forgiveness can be extraordinarily difficult.

The good news is that forgiveness is a practice, so the more you practice the better you get. And the research is clear that forgiving someone can help you move on to live a happier, healthier life.

Ref:. https://wa-health.kaiserpermanente.org

Forgiveness Affirmations to Lift the Weight Off

Forgiveness is often defined as an individual, voluntary internal process of letting go of feelings and thoughts of resentment, bitterness, anger, and the need for vengeance and retribution toward someone who we believe has wronged us, including ourselves.

Here are some affirmations to help wash away the pain of resentment to a more loving, fresher, cleaner and joyful life.

  1. I am free from the prison of resentment.
  2. Resentment replicates old turmoil and I choose my life to be drama free.
  3. I do not confuse people from my past with people in the present.
  4. I acknowledge my faults and forgive myself completely.
  5. I make peace (inside) with anyone who has done wrong.
  6. Forgiveness is a gift to myself.
  7. I follow the principle of “live and let live.”
  8. My parents did the best they could. I forgive them for any wrong that they unknowingly did and forgive myself for holding a grudge against them.
  9. When I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.
  10. Forgiveness gives me a fresh start and a clean slate.
  11. I forgive to stop the negative karmic cycle in my life.
  12. Each day is filled with new possibilities.
  13. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
  14. The past is done. I now live in the present.
  15. I am the architect of my future.
  16. I am a pioneer of the future and not a prisoner of the past.
  17. I am forgiving, loving, gentle and kind to everyone.
  18. I lay down the heavy weight of doubt, shame, guilt, embarrassment and self-hate.
  19. Intention is my catalyst for my ideal future.
  20. I am capable of moving beyond my own mistakes.
  21. I am able to heal from the hurt of my past.
  22. I am worthy of all the compassion and kindness in the world.
  23. I forgive myself one day at a time.
  24. I release the pain of anger and rage from my body.
  25. I release my past and forgive my participation in it.
  26. I accept my past and learn from it.
  27. I practice understanding and compassion.
  28. I did the best I could at the time with what I knew.
  29. I have the courage to heal any wound.
  30. I will treat myself with love and respect.
  31. I love myself and all that I am.
  32. I go with the flow.
  33. I grow more patient and understanding of others by forgiving myself.
  34. I cease all self-judgement and self-sabotage.
  35. I the energy of love and forgiveness to surround me.
  36. I grow stronger and better every day.
  37. I forgive so that I can have inner peace.
  38. I can only help others by forgiving myself.
  39. Understanding is the highest form of love.
  40. Old, negative patterns no longer hold me back. I let them go with ease.
  41. I forgive everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs. I send them loving energy and wash it out of my aura.
  42. All is love.

Forgiveness vs Acceptance: Tools for Emotional Freedom

Human history is filled with battles that started in individual minds and later resulted in human suffering. Learn why forgiveness and acceptance can be the key to your success.

The human mind is a labyrinth of emotions. You may often ponder about your past experiences and, by doing so, create a mindset that reacts to future events accordingly. The mind is a river of thoughts, which is flowing constantly. Your thoughts decide the state of your mental and emotional health.

Ayurveda and Yoga have given paramount importance to your ability to draw your attention inward – to look at your own mind that is not only generating the thoughts but also constantly changing the neurochemistry and various physiological functions.

The Sanskrit term for “mind” is Manas, which means to think, ponder, analyze, and decide. The six negative emotions (Shadripu) that weigh you down are the following:

  • Lust
  • Anger
  • Jealousy
  • Greed
  • Egotism
  • Delusion

Over-Attachment & Intoxication
These toxic emotions can make you bitter, inflexible, and rigid. The practice of Ayurveda and Yoga is a powerful form of behavioral medicine. They can teach you to be flexible, not just in the body, but in the mind. The very first sign of spiritual growth is to be kind, accepting, and forgiving without holding any grudges or resentment.

Psychologists define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate process to release feelings of resentment. The very first step toward self-realization is to accept things as they are and practice forgiveness. It frees your mind from the bondage of the past and the future. It cultivates infinite flexibility, which is the very secret to immortality.

Acceptance is not a passive or weak trait in your personality, but it makes you resilient and spiritually strong. It is recognizing a process or condition without attempting to change it. When you see and accept things as they are, you train yourself to be nonjudgmental, which leads to a stable intellect.

Any fear of acceptance and rigidity makes it almost difficult to practice forgiveness. Carrying old grudges, resentment, bitter experiences, and pre-conditioning makes your mind a stagnant puddle, which is not able to drain and flow properly.

These are all human emotions, but as you become more self-aware and work on self-regulation, you are able to correct the faulty patterns of your instinctual behavior. It is the way you train your mind to accept or feel accepted. Your lack of ability to accept people and situations often creates walls of false ego, isolation, and anger. Vedanta tells you that the world that is full of form and phenomena is an illusion, and you must rise above your sensory experience to understand the true nature of reality.

Below are the best ways to practice being self-aware, structuring a daily practice of self-regulation, and becoming more accepting and forgiving.

1. Detach
Develop a habit of detaching yourself from the experience for a few seconds. This will blunt the edge of the emotion you are experiencing. This is a conscious act of dispassionate detachment that creates a buffer between the outer and inner worlds. This can be done with some deep breathing or a quick one-minute meditation. The key is to do this in moments of joy and exhilaration, as well as anger and sadness. This prepares your mind for a state of equanimity.

2. Channel Opposite Emotions
Bring in the opposite emotion (Pratipaksha Bhavana …Yoga Sutra): Counter anger with love, fear with faith, and loss with gratitude. Bringing in the opposite, but positive, emotion helps you change your perception of a given situation. It can make you optimistic, resilient, and energetic. Toxic emotions take away your energy, and positive emotions restore your vitality down to the cellular level. It is a habit that you should cultivate to be present, listen, and choose a sacred response.

3. Express Your Feelings
Discuss, talk, or journal your feelings. If you cannot do it yourself, find a friend or a sounding board who can help you understand your pain, fear, or anxiety. You will suddenly realize that you are giving more power to the offender to dominate your mind and body. As you accept, forgive, and release the pent-up emotion, you feel powerful and happy.

4. Be Patient
The world is full of challenges and imperfections. The more you dwell on those situations, the more you limit yourself from experiencing freedom and joy. There is no perfect solution to every challenge, but time is a great equalizer, and patience is an expression of timeless awareness.

5. Reflect
Reflect upon what has happened and explore the reasoning behind why people behave in certain ways and how your reaction can make the matter worse. Practicing a gentle pause, giving them the benefit of doubt, and converting your hurt into compassion toward them remedies the situation.

6. Practice Understanding
Understanding your own personality, belief systems, upbringing, and conditioning is one of the main obstacles to acceptance and forgiveness. You acquire traits from good or bad role models and, hence, you have to be careful about the company you keep or your sensory experiences. Choose your friends wisely and look for spiritual qualities in their behavior.

7. Practice Self-Love
The last and most important is self-love. It is not narcissism but a constant act of personal growth with meditation, pure foods, exercise, and a positive but purposeful lifestyle. Healthy people are more likely to be happy and forgiving.

Empower yourself with a let-go attitude and create lightness of being. By inserting these practices into your daily routine, you will become resilient and self-aware.

The goal is not to detach from emotion, but rather to understand the basis of emotions and, using these tools, to learn from them for spiritual fitness.

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We offer you a two day forgiveness course in Cape Town, Johannesburg, New York, London, Hong Kong, Singapore, Sydney, Melbourne, Los Angeles, Chicago, Ontario, ‎Dublin and Auckland.