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Category: Let Go (Page 1 of 2)

Letting Go of the Past

Today we are going to look at affirmations to help us let go of the past and move on. The past is over and done and cannot be changed. This – the here and now – is the only moment we can experience.

Even when we lament about the past, we are experiencing our memory of it in this moment, and losing the real experience of this moment in the process.

Many people come to me and say they cannot enjoy today because of something that happened in the past. Because they did not do something or do it in a certain way in the past, they cannot live a full life today.

Because they no longer have something they had in the past, they cannot enjoy today. Because they were hurt in the past, they will not accept love now, and so on. These negative statements simply keep them powerless to live their lives in the here and now.

Here are some more specific examples. Do any of them resonate with you?

  • Because I did not get invited to the high school prom, I cannot enjoy life today.
  • Because I did poorly at my first audition, I will be terrified of auditions forever.
  • Because I am no longer married, I cannot live a full life today.
  • Because I was hurt by a remark once, I will never trust anyone again.
  • Because I stole something once, I must punish myself forever.
  • Because I was poor as a child, I will never get anywhere.

What we often refuse to realize is that holding on to the past – no matter what it was or how awful it was – is only hurting us. “They” really don’t care. Usually, “they” are not even aware. We are only hurting ourselves by refusing to live in this moment to the fullest.

Let us now clean up the past in our minds. We need to release the emotional attachment to it. Allow the memories to be just memories. If you think back to what you used to wear in the third grade, usually
there is no emotional attachment. It’s just a memory. It can be the same for all of the past events in our lives. As we let go, we become free to use all of our mental power to enjoy this moment and to
create a great future.

You don’t have to keep punishing yourself for the past.

  • List all of the things you’re willing to let go of.
  • How willing are you to let go? Notice your reactions, and write them down.
  • What will you have to do to let these things go? How willing are you to do so?
  • For each thing you wrote down on your list, write a positive affirmation to help you release it.

Exercise: Letting Go

You will remember this exercise from day 4; at this stage of your development, letting go is a crucial exercise to release your negative thoughts. It takes a little practice for the routine to become a part of you.

We’re going to go through it once more now, but you should repeat this exercise whenever thoughts of difficulty come up. You will be able to relax completely in any situation.

As you read this, take a deep breath and, as you exhale, allow all the tension to leave your body. Let your scalp and your forehead and your face relax. Your head does not need to be tense in order for you to read. Let your tongue and your throat and your shoulders relax. You can hold a book with relaxed arms and hands.

Do that now. Let your back and your abdomen and your pelvis relax. Let your breathing be at peace as you relax your legs and feet.

Is there a big change in your body since you began the previous paragraph? Notice how much you hold on. If you are doing it with your body, you are doing it with your mind.

In this relaxed, comfortable position, say to yourself, “I am willing to let go. I release. I let go. I release all tension. I release all fear. I release all anger. I release all guilt. I release all sadness. I let go of all old limitations.

I let go, and I am at peace. I am at peace with myself. I am at peace with the process of life. I am safe.”

Exercise: Physical Releasing

Sometimes we need to experience a physical letting go. Experiences and emotions can get locked in the body. Screaming in the car with all the windows rolled up can be very releasing if we have been stifling our verbal expression. Beating the bed or kicking pillows is another harmless way to release pent-up anger or frustration. If you feel embarrassed or inhibited by the idea of expressing yourself so physically, say to yourself:

“I give myself permission to acknowledge my feelings and release past experiences.” Or if this is really not your style, play a sport such as tennis, or go running. A while ago, I had a pain in my shoulder for a day or two. I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn’t go away. Finally, I sat down and asked myself, “What is happening here? What am I feeling?”

I realized, “It feels like burning. Burning … burning … that means anger.

What are you angry about?”

I couldn’t think of what I was angry about, so I said, “Well, let’s see if we can find out.” I put two large pillows on the bed and began to hit them with a lot of energy.

After about twelve hits, I realized exactly what I was angry about. It was so clear. So I beat the pillows even harder and made some noise and released the emotions from my body. When I got through, I felt much better, and the next day my shoulder was fine.

Affirmations for Letting Go of the Past:

Make these affirmations part of your daily routine. Say them often in the car, at work, while looking in the mirror, or anytime you feel your negative beliefs surfacing.

  • The past is over and cannot be changed. This is the only moment I can experience.
  • I now choose to release every negative, destructive, fearful idea and thought from my mind and my life.
  • It is healing to show my emotions. It is safe for me to be vulnerable.
  • I release the need to blame anyone, including myself.
  • My heart is open. I am willing to release all resistance.
  • I now release anger in positive ways. I love and appreciate myself.
  • I move beyond old limitations and now express myself freely and creatively.
  • I am willing to release the need to be unworthy. I am becoming all that I am destined to be.
  • It is safe for me to go beyond my parents’ limitations. I am free to be me.
  • I release all struggle now, and I am at peace.
  • I release any limitations based on old, negative thoughts. I joyfully look forward to the future.
  • I say “Out!’ to every negative thought about the past that comes into my mind.
  • I release any feelings of competition or comparison from the past.

Ref:. Louise L. Hay – 21 Days Affirmations

Forgiving Means Letting Go of Your Resentment

Forgiving means a lot more than the simple act of saying “I forgive you.” It is much more than resuming a lost relationship. It means even more than forgetting the action that caused us sorrow at some point in our lives.

When we truly forgive someone, we make peace with our own ego. We feel fulfilled, at ease and free, because resentment has disappeared forever.

Sincerely forgiving someone who has harmed you is one of the most difficult things a person can do. Forgiveness requires great emotional strength and bravery that not many possess.

When we have been hurt, be it physically or emotionally, we go into a state of rage. Anger can be a useful emotion if we want to defend ourselves from a threat. Yet, it is meaningless when the threat is no longer present.
Prolonged anger poisons us slowly. It fills us with rage and hatred, a thirst for vengeance, which are all completely useless negative emotions. They will not erase the past and also serve no purpose in the present or future.

Forgiving in a rational way

In order to free ourselves of negative emotions, such as rage, we can use the power of our thoughts and ideas. This way, we take control of our mind. Thus, we rip the control of our mind away from these emotions. Thinking in a rational manner implies not letting yourself get carried away by impulses, by our imagination. It means not exaggerating or dramatizing the facts and, above all, abandoning the so-called “you should have“s.

When we are being guided by our rage, we are assuming that other people should have behaved in a certain way. Thus, we aren’t capable of forgiving them sincerely.

The truth is that everyone is free to behave according to their own criteria, not our own, whether we like it or not. Accepting this reality and being able to bear it without too much negativity will allow us to finally forgive those who have hurt us.

Therefore, in order to free ourselves of this heavy feeling of resentment, vengeance or sadness, we should keep in mind that no one is perfect. Not the people who have hurt us, nor us. It is natural for humans to make mistakes, to become confused, to behave in a visceral manner. That’s why our emotional side comes from the most primitive part of our brain.

Although the damage affects us, rage wont change this fact. We’ll only end up with two problems. First, the damage suffered due to the other person’s actions. Secondly, the rage that we impose on ourselves, which just generates even more pain.

Another rational thought that may help us is the idea that nobody can make us suffer without our consent. This may sound weird but, it’s the truth. If you know who you are, you have a balanced self-esteem and a good head on your shoulders, it’ll be impossible for someone to harm you. At least not through words or deeds that don’t involve physical harm.

An insult can only harm me if I tell myself that that person shouldn’t ever insult me. Or, on the other hand, if I “buy” that person’s insult. If I end up believing the insult and accepting it as my own. That’s when I’m opening the door to that which causes me pain.

You may think that this an extremely hard thing to achieve, and you would be right to think that way. Nobody teaches us how to think this way. Instead, they teach us how to protect our dignity with all of our strengths, to make our ego shine as if each one of us were the most important being on the planet.

In the end, this will work against us, because we are the ones who suffer on an emotional level. And, if we stop and think about it, we’ll see that it’s not worth it at all, because we will never obtain anything from it. The anger towards the other person never has any practical use.

How can I know if I have truly forgiven?

Although forgiving is a truly difficult act that requires a great deal of bravery, we can all do it. The rational thoughts that we described previously are only the beginning, but it doesn’t stop there. In order to forgive, one needs to grow and connect with the things we tell ourselves.

You have been able to forgive if you feel within you each one or at least one of these points:

  • You don’t think that the other person is a bad person. To you, they are simply confused. You know that human beings are good by nature. They want to cooperate and not compete, but these societies, as artificial as they are, they teach us other things. And this may confuse us. Everyone can fail at some point in their life, because this is the normal order of things. When you are capable of acknowledging this, you have definitely forgiven the other person. Also, that has now eliminated the negative emotion.
  • You have accepted what the other person did. You tolerate, accept and are aware that life is not perfect and that people are even less perfect. Therefore, you must accept that there are situations, actions, facts that are not going to be of your liking. In fact, they may even go against what you believe in. This is a part of life, and if we see it and feel it as such, it will not cause as much harm. It is unpleasant when everything doesn’t go the way we want it to, but it is not the end of the world.
  • You don’t feel anger or rage when you see the other person. Instead, you would like to help them or wish them good luck in life.
  • If your feelings are more about compassion than about rage, then you have managed to forgive for good. You only wish that person the best. You truly want them to have a good life and for them to fix their behavior. In fact, you consider it’s nothing more than a sign of the misfortune they are surely carrying on their shoulders.

Forgiving is not an easy mental task. Oftentimes it emerges as a form of your triumph in a hard battle against negative emotions. However, by doing so, you will be the first one to be benefited.

Now you can stop suffering mentally over something that already happened. By doing so, you are letting go of useless weight that we all carry around for no good reason.

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