We offer you a two day forgiveness course in Cape Town, Johannesburg, New York, London, Hong Kong, Singapore, Sydney, Melbourne, Los Angeles, Chicago, Ontario, ‎Dublin and Auckland. Develop gratitude with grace, change your life with a universal truth. Letting go of resentment.

Category: A Course in Forgiveness (Page 3 of 5)

Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended

When you live at or below ordinary levels of awareness, you spend a great deal of time and energy finding opportunities to be offended.

A news report, a rude stranger, someone cursing, a sneeze, a black cloud – just about anything will do if you’re looking for an occasion to be offended. Become a person who refuses to be offended by any one, any thing, or any set of circumstances.

If you have enough faith in your own beliefs, you’ll find that it’s impossible to be offended by the beliefs and conduct of others.

Not being offended is a way of saying, “I have control over how I’m going to feel, and I choose to feel peaceful regardless of what I observe going on. When you feel offended, you’re practicing judgment. You judge someone else to be stupid, insensitive, rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, or foolish, and then you find yourself upset and offended by their conduct.

What you may not realize is that when you judge another person, you do not define them. You define yourself as someone who needs to judge others.

Examples of Affirmations

By definition, your affirmation will be personal to you, and specific to what you want to achieve or change.

The following examples may provide some inspiration:

I have plenty of creativity for this project.

My work will be recognized in a positive way by my boss and colleagues.

I can do this!

My team respects and values my opinion.

I am successful.

I am honest in my life, and my work.

I like completing tasks and projects on time.

I’m grateful for the job I have.

I enjoy working with my team.

I’m bringing a positive attitude to work every day.

I am excellent at what I do.

I am generous.

I am happy.

I will be a leader in my organization.

Tip:

The use of affirmations is just one way to make positive changes to your life. You can also use techniques such as Thought Awareness, Rational Thinking, and Positive Thinking , and Cognitive Restructuring . You may also want to take our quiz, Are You a Positive or Negative Thinker?

Warning:

Negative thinking can cause severe health problems and, in extreme cases, death. While these techniques have been shown to have a positive effect on reducing occasional negative thinking, they are for guidance only, and readers should take the advice of suitably qualified health professionals if they have any concerns over related illnesses or if negative thoughts are causing significant or persistent unhappiness. Health professionals should also be consulted before any major change in diet or levels of exercise.

Key Points

Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to overcome self-sabotaging, negative thoughts.

To use affirmations, first analyze the thoughts or behaviors that you’d like to change in your own life and career.

Next, come up with positive, credible, and achievable affirmation statements that are the opposite of these thoughts. Repeat your affirmations several times a day, especially when you find yourself slipping into negative self-talk or engaging in negative behavior.

Remember that affirmations are most effective when you use them alongside other strategies, such as visualization and goal setting.

Forgiving and Moving On

The motivation in “moving on” is to look forward, to get on with one’s own life, whether or not that includes the offending person.

So, forgiving and “moving on” are quite different in this: When you forgive, the focus is on the other; when you “move on,” the focus is on the self.

It is not necessarily a selfish act to “move on.” Yet, this act, by itself, is not likely to cleanse the person from a persistent resentment that can last for a very long time. It is in the reaching out to the other in forgiveness, even if reconciliation does not occur, that there is emotional healing for the one who extends the forgiveness.

Forgiving and “moving on” are related in this way: Once a person forgives by offering goodness to those who have not been good to the forgive, this aids the forgiver in now being able to move beyond the situation without rancor, without the disquieting resentment that can be hard to diminish.

As people forgive, they now can remember in new ways. When they think about the unjust treatment, they do not burn with anger or if they do, it is more easily reduced. When they think about the situation, they might feel some sadness rather than rage, some disappointment rather than hatred.

Forgiveness, in other words, actually helps a person “move on.”

On the other hand, if all a person is doing is “moving on,” this will not necessarily aid forgiveness because the injured person has put out of mind what happened, which can include no longer thinking about the other, which renders the motivation to forgive – to reach out to the other – unlikely.

For people to recover from severe unjust treatment, they often need stronger medicine than “moving on.” Communities need to see this and to make an important distinction between these two if people are to recover deeply and well from others’ mistreatment.

Forgiveness is a large part of the hope that underlies recovery in the context of unfair treatment from others.

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We offer you a two day forgiveness course in Cape Town, Johannesburg, New York, London, Hong Kong, Singapore, Sydney, Melbourne, Los Angeles, Chicago, Ontario, ‎Dublin and Auckland.